Sunday, October 24, 2010

Kids say the darndest thing.

On December 17 1993 my mom and dad started writing random quotes. These are some of the ones that had us busting a gut at night. (Direct quotes from the journal.)

For my Catholic Friends-
Michele: Look mom Grace is sniffing the table just life Fr. Ryan does when he comes in!
Mom: In our house? I’ve never seen him do that
Michele: No! In church, you know, just before it starts. Don’t you pay attention?

Michele’s comment when a little boy brought a spider to school in a jar. “My stomach said I should be afraid, but my mind said that I should not.”

December 27 1993
Michele: Daddy I need an Aladdin doll!
Dad: Why do you NEED an Aladdin doll?
Michele: Because Jasmine is tired of sharing Ken with all the other girls.

Summer of 1993
As Michele and I were walked home from Church one Sunday, we were talking about what she might want to be when she grew up. Being the optimistic parent I said “Why, you could even grow up to be a doctor.” Her response was “You must be kidding, I wouldn’t do that!” (this she said with great disdain) When I asked her why not she said, “Because it’s work.”
As the conversation continued she said she was going to get married and live with us (her parents.) I told her that her husband would want to have his own home and when you get married you go to live with your husband. Her response was, “I would never marry anyone who wouldn’t move in with my parents. I could only raise my eyes to the sky and pray, “Heaven help us.”

August 1 1994
As I was feeding Grace today Michele came in and sat down on the couch by a pile of laundry what needed folding. I told her to “Feel free to fold your clothes out of the pile.” After a few minutes later she was still sitting there I asked her what the problem was she said “I’m not feeling very free right now.”

Michele and I were looking through some pictures that we have just developed. We came to one with her sister by herself. Michele very enthusiastically said, “I took this one!” I asked her how she knew she took the picture she very matter-of-factly stated, “Well, if I didn’t, I would have been in the picture.”

October 1994
My neighbor was just telling me about Michele’s response one day last summer when she served. Chicken soup for lunch. Michele climbed up to her chair, sat down, looked at the soup and said, “Who is sick?”

After Halloween my neighbor Millie asked Michele how she enjoyed her sweets. Michele comment was “I went to bed and had sweet dreams.”

November 28 1994 The lesson today is mom is cheap and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Michele showed us her second row of teeth. It seems her baby teeth didn’t fall out and her lower adult teeth are now growing in behind her baby set. I will have to take her to the dentist to have the baby’s pulled at $18 a shot.
I told Michele that if she could get the teeth out on her own. I would double anything that the tooth fairy gave her. She said, “You mean if the tooth fairy gives me a quarter, you will give me another one? Whoopee!” I could only come out ahead in this deal.

September 1995
In second grade, Michele’s school begins to issue letter grades. To prepare the parents and children for the first report card, the school sent home a three week report. Michele had A’s in math, spelling and English, but I was surprised to see a “B” in reading since I thought that this was one of her better subject, I was surprised.
I hated to focus on the B but if there was a problem I didn’t want to let it compound. I wanted to help her early on. So finally, I got up my nerve and asked, “Michele, honey, are you having a problem with reading?” When she responded, “Of course!” I was momentarily speechless. I finally asked her, “What in particular seems to be giving you a problem?” She then said, “I’m not completing my assignments.” Thinking that maybe the teacher wasn’t giving her enough time I said, “Oh really, Why is that?” Her response, “Because I talk too much, why else?”

December 7 1995
One of the things that I have notices about Michele is that she likes shortcuts. She spends a lot of time trying to think up ways to do things faster. Today she attempted her most recent experiment in speed and efficiency. She decided that if she could open all of her drawers at once, she would be able to put her clothes away faster. So, she glued all her drawers together so that they would open all at once!

August 1998
In an effort to get Michele to help keep the laundry process moving, I would tell Michele, “Your friend is calling,” every time the dryer buzzed that it was finished. One day she replied, “I’ll call it back.”

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